A bald angel shows up in my artwork all the time. This rather large piece is probably 2 feet by 3 feet. He hangs over my desk at school. You would never know it to look at him, but he's subversive. He is not there to protect me and my students like this angel usually does. He is a reminder of a silent revolution in my soul. Under the calmness of his tired face I have scrawled all my frustrations about where public schools are headed. High stakes testing, ineffective leadership at every turn, low teacher pay and frankly an utter lack of appreciation. It is all there...just under the surface.
That is the real me. Expressing my aggression, but in a way that won't hurt anyone else. REVOLUTION, Little Brother!
April 11, 2009
The Real Me
Our final assignment in my Unraveling class was to express through photography "The Real You." Anybody who knows me is aware that I have too many personalities to count, so I just illustrated a few of them that people may not know as well.
I have always been a great appreciator of art. Museums have been my playground since I was a child. My parents would allow me one postcard every time we went to the local museums, which was practically weekly. We were poor as church mice back then, but they valued art that highly. Art was not a luxury to them. As a teenager I hung out with the artsy kids. Creatives were among my favorite people. I always enjoyed being around that energy. But I was just the great appreciator, remember?
Then one day a few years ago I grew tired of sitting on the sidelines. I started thinking, "Well, my ideas are just as good as that." I didn't like the bitter taste that sort of language was leaving on my tongue. I needed to use that jealousy as a road map to where I really wanted to be, not wallow in that negative mire. I soaked in the colors of countless books about the techniques of artists I admired. I tried all kinds of mediums, and sold things as quickly as I could make them. I even won Best in Show at a local art fair. It wasn't enough. I didn't have formal training. That made it hard to call myself a REAL artist. I was the imposter.
I decided to "fake it until you make it" by buying a bumper sticker that declared to the world that I was an artist. I felt nauseated as I put it on my car. The sticker may not be very subtle, but its effects have been. Slowly, over time, it really has started to work.
I am an artist. Period.
Charlie's Angels Have Nothing on Mine!
Meet Murray, Daryl and Jenn. My tribe. We are on one of our adventures in a truly scary roadside junk shop. Life if always more authentic and usually hilarious when we are together.
Murray, in the ocean blue scarf, left her three little boys and pork chops still cooking on the stove when I called her the day a man broke my heart. Didn't even hesitate. She heard something in my voice she had never heard before and came flying to my rescue. The boys survived. Luckily their dad was home...the pork chops not so much.
Daryl laughs at every single funny thing I ever say. I love that he is even laughing in this picture. Obviously what I said wasn't that good. The others managed to keep their photo smiles in tact. Not Daryl. He is the best audience. Seriously, comedians should hire him to sit in the audience. We laugh until it hurts at least a few times a week. Working with him every day has been a life saver.
And then there's my magical Jenn. She is my soul sister to such an extend that most people think we really are sisters. She is the most inspirational person I have ever met. Everything she does turns to gold. Her ideas are always the most creative, and she shares them all with such grace and generosity. She listens with her whole spirit then tells you the truth, and the world loves her for it. No one more than me!
Tribal Leader
For my class, we were asked to talk about members of our tribe in this life. Jay is the most important member of my tribe. He is the only person I have ever known that loves me as unconditionally as my mom does, and that is saying A LOT! He is brilliant, funny, spiritual and tenderhearted. He is the most thoughtful man I have ever known. He supports and encourages every attempt I make to fly and grow. I have gone out with a few nightmarish men. I didn't know that men like Jay existed. Am I glad I waited around for the right one to come along. He is my soft place to fall.
April 02, 2009
Love and Laughter: Five Year Old Style
This is a project done by one of our Kindergarten classes for the art auction. It was inspired by the handpainted collage paper technique of Eric Carle, the author of The Very Hungry Caterpillar. These hearts were loving painted and cut out by the hands of five year olds. Each is a unique treasure, just like their owners. Not only do these youngsters have the purest little spirits, they also give us our biggest laughs.
I have a truly hilarious story from Kindergarten today. It is great to see how they make connections with new information and their limited world experience. At last night's dinner, John Luke listened to his big brother talking about the self-defense training the children are receiving during P.E. this week. A local Black Belt has volunteered his time to talk to the kids about stranger danger. Today when his teacher asked John Luke to explain the special event coming up in P.E., he proudly and succinctly gave his class the scoop. "Today a man named Marshall Arts is going to teach us karate."
April 01, 2009
Daydreaming
Is daydreaming important?
This was a writing prompt I gave my third grade class this week.
I got two answers that I had to share. There is some deep thinking going on in the minds of our children.
Thomas wrote "It gives you time to think and express your privacy without giving it away."
And my all time favorite was from Lettie. She said her favorite place to daydream was on the swings. She explained that it calmed her down faster than anything else in the world. "Daydreaming is important because it cleans the mind of the human." She is only eight years old. You want to talk about an old soul...
March 29, 2009
Dedo: The Guardian of Notre Dame
I woke up in the middle of the night because I felt a strange presence in my bed. I leaned up on my elbows and there he was. A four foot gargoyle was sitting on the corner of my bed. He had his back to me watching out the window. I knew I was supposed to be scared, but somehow I could tell he was there to protect me not harm me. I reached my hand out to touch his back, wanting him to know that I knew he was benevolent regardless of his appearance. His head slowly turned, and I caught a glimpse of his moonlit face. I saw panic in his eyes when he realized I had seen him standing guard over me. Suddenly I snapped awake with my head back on the pillow. He was gone. Maybe it was just a dream within a dream, but I really don't think so.
Well over a year after that incident, I was Christmas shopping with my girlfriends. We went into this funky little candle shop and there he was. A miniature version of my midnight guard. The sculpture was even sitting in the exact same way he had been on my bed. It turns out he was originally made centuries ago by a French nun to be a gentler companion to all the truly evil looking gargoyles that sit atop Notre Dame.
I brought him home where he still sits in my windowsill. Watching and waiting. My small but mighty protector.
Maybe that doesn't exactly count as an alter ego, but he is definitely a big part of my psyche.
Little Ms. ShinyBritches
I long to be an organized person. I know I have it in me. Container stores make me drool. I have read Getting Things Done, and I worship my 43 folder system. The FlyLady is my hero. But when life gets crazy...cleaning is the first thing to go.
For the past two weeks I have been creating and installing a huge art show at school. It has been all consuming. It is finally over, and I am longing to order my common life.
Little Ms. ShinyBritches to the rescue! She is on her fourth load of laundry, and our sink is now sparkling. Now if she can just find a way to tackle my junk drawers. And dare I even mention her arch-enemy....my art studio?!
Altar Ego
This is my bedroom shrine to Our Lady of Guadalupe. I had a vision of her when I was in my early twenties. I have her to thank for my faith in God.
I was brainstorming in my journal about possible ideas for Unravelings Alter Ego week. I misspelled it as Altar Ego and started laughing, because I'm sure it wasn't really an accident.
I am not as vigilant about my spiritual life as I need to be. My relationship with God is important, but not urgent. Daily earthly emergencies tend to consume my time. Most of them feel important as they are happening, but really they aren't. Thanks for the reminder, big guy.
March 28, 2009
Bright Lights, Big City
This week for our class we are supposed to explore the idea of an alter ego. My alter ego loves the hustle and bustle of the big city. She is that confident, wildly successful, world on a string girl in New York City. You know the one. She walks in slow-motion, carrying tons of shopping bags and the crowds part for her like the Red Sea. Her creative idea always swoops in and saves the day at the last minute. And her life has the best soundtrack.
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